Dowsing for Water

car trouble

2008-03-16T18:19:00.004-04:00

First day of work at my new job, and I find find this monstrosity waiting for me. Got a bit windy the night before.

I've never seen a car actually pushed into the ground.
Fortunately, the building behind the truck broke the fall.

Elizabeth's got one hell of a bite.

2008-03-08T18:35:00.004-05:00

Like I said, she does. bitebitebitebitebitebitebitebitebitebitebitebite. Play bite, of course. She's a puppy, that's what puppies do.
But don't do it too much.

Chiante has a breaking point.

updates, yet again

2008-03-08T18:27:00.002-05:00

So I took the job. Why bitch about it? It's an opportunity just like any other. And at least I'm going in there with my eyes wide open. No false hope here. I'll do what they ask of me, do it well, and it might work out. And it's a job! Come on now, times are tough for a lot of people, I consider myself lucky. But.....
"Expect the worst, and never be disappointed."
That's a shitty viewpoint, but it's true sometimes.
And it gives me time to prepare for it.

Complications

2008-02-26T08:59:00.003-05:00

Why in the fuck do things have to be so fucking complicated? God! I'm looking for a real job. Call it what you want - Career, desk job, whatever. I want something that I enjoy, make enough money to pay the mortgage, among other things, and just be successful at what I do. So I wait tables now. Not a bad job, not at all. The people I work with are cool, the money could be better, but that's any job you get, and I'm good at it. I don't want to be a waiter forever, though I still kick myself for not finishing college, even though most of my friends who graduated college have shit jobs anyway. I want an 8-5 job monday through friday. Is that so fucking hard to find? Apparently in Winston-Salem it is. The jobs available in this shithole are few and far between, short of a degree. And even then, there's not much to it.

Most of the things I'm a professional at are not relevant in this state. I can't move, or I won't. Promises to keep, and all that. Not a big deal. I like having my family and friends here, and I do know the area.
Anyway, I had a job at a local organization two years ago. I took over as an interim manager. It was my first real position where I could make a difference in a lot of lives and by Christ, I was good at it. I organized, repaired, secured volunteer help, and set up a business plan after business plan. I was going to make Winston-Salem remember that there was this jewel right in the middle of downtown, that had previously been ignored. So that's what I set about doing.
There was a catch. In order for me to hired on full time, I would have to move on campus. It wasn't feasible, considering family responsibilities and so forth. and I politely declined the offer to move on campus. I tried to convince them that I didn't have to live there. Whatever problem that would arise at night, I could be there to take care of it. Nothing Doing. "We want you to be on call 24-7."
And that was that. I helped out until they found someone that could do the job and live there at the same time. Eventually, they did find that person, who was willing to move their family and belongings to this place. And I left on good terms.

Fast forward two years -Late last week I get a call from my old boss. She said that the person they hired after me, was let go. They were desperate, and had a todo list a mile long. Would I consider going back and working for them again? So we met and spoke yesterday. It's the same runaround as last time. I must live on campus if I were to apply for the permanent position. No bending on that rule. Damn it.
So what the hell do I do? Do I go back and work - part time, until they do find someone? And then be out of a job there again? If I were cut back hours at my waiting job, there's no guarantee I'll get those hours back. But we're talking about a job that I took out of desperation, and a job that I love, that comes back and teases me every so often. And I am good. No denying that. I'm experienced, good with people, can speak to the public, and can actually accomplish things.
This is my life, for fucks sake. Let me find a fucking job I'm proud of having. Can't be that hard, but I'm pushing 30 and still not sure what I want to do. FUCK!!!!!

Elizabeth

2008-02-19T22:26:00.007-05:00

This is Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was found at the local pound, on the ground, not makin' a sound, wit dem ho's bringin' her down, all up in her crown....Wait. Shouldn't rap. I'm no Gza.
After a lengthy search, Katie and I found Elizabeth at the Forsyth County Animal shelter with a litter of eight. All except one was blonde, the odd one out being a Rottweiler color. So maybe a retriever/rott mix? Anyway, some joker decided to name the litter after characters on Sanford and Son. Clever, being found in a junkyard and all. I wanted Grady.

Cute, huh?

Yeah, I thought so too.. Got her home from the pound on Monday, last week. Since then it's been ... interesting. She's a sweetheart, don't get me wrong. As we got home from picking her up that day, we realized that she smelled like straight ASS. No, really. Gave her a bath and after much fighting, splashing and screeching, she was cleaned up and tuckered out. See above picture. Katie and I are keeping her in the laundry room, in a crate. We didn't realize that we needed to Crate Train her. So the first night, we wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. So we put bedding, newspaper (for poopy), food, water, and toys. Everything a new puppy in an unfamiliar place needs! Right? Wrong. After a night of no sleep, and a 3:00 a.m. vow to "shoot that little bitch in the face", we woke up to this at 6:45.

Notice the mixture of food, water, poop and pee surrounding the cage. Also notice Elizabeth's face caught in mid -howl. After another fun filled bath we realized that crates don't need food and water in there. Needless to say, interesting first night. Our other problem was Chianti. She's our Husky-mix. Awesome, awesome dog. A bit toy dominant, smart as a whip, and lovable. She's had problems with other dogs in the past, just over possession issues, but nothing major. She's good with dogs and people, providing the dogs were not into fetch. That 's why her and Frank, our previous dog, got along so well. He let her have the toys, she let him mount her on the side. Dog politics.

So we were worried when we introduced a puppy to the household. We figured that a puppy would be easier to teach the hierarchy to. But now I'm stuck. Chiante has let her know who's toys they are and she's a bit bigger. But they got along well. There are issues to work out, and a LOT of training, but Chianti has accepted her, although I'm not sure who's the dominant in this relationship. You tell me.

Loves that tail. I've seen Chianti sling Elizabeth across the room when she'd done that by surprise.

But that's it. "Our New Dog." She's still getting used to the crate, and I'm not leaving food and water in there at all. And she's learning to be submissive, and not playbiting as much. Two more months and the toy situation could work out. Until then we have to just supervise the hell out of the two. And hope Chianti doesn't consider our new addition a toy that squeaks. So far so good. Just don't piss in my shoes.

New Heights of Shittydom in LA

2008-02-18T18:34:00.000-05:00

Yes that's real and yeah, its only in LA. To explain, ashleymadison.com is apparently a dating/hookup/you-smell-my-crotch-I'll-smell-yours, website for those that are married or are in a committed relationship. I would repeat that but I am writing not talking so just go read it again. I'll give you a second.....ok so now for the million dollar 3 letter question, WTF? Like, for real? Is this another sign of the impending apocalypse or a legitimate service in this modern day and age? We are now aiding and abetting cheaters. Great. I'm all for the STOP SNITCHING mantra but this is going a bit far don't you think? Wait, why am I even asking you, this is going to far. Yes, America is all about free enterprise, making something out of nothing, pull yourself by your boot straps and all that left handed jazz, but are we ever going to reach a point in this country where the water breaks and we roll back into some sort of half-assed decency and common sense? When will the alarm clock of bullshit go off in our heads and when it does will we have the freakin spirit of what's right to NOT hit the snooze button? Or will we just shrug our shoulders and dismiss it with a casual, "hey, it's a new world." You can let that dog continue to hump your leg but not me kids. The point of this whole diatribe is this. Just because something is new and cutting edge, doesnt make it the shit. Just because its old doesnt mean its outdated. Hold on to some sense of value and rightness and pass that along to whoever you can. Because at the rate we're going, we are going to reach Mike Judge's Idiocracy well before he even predicted.

Grammy's infatuation...

2008-02-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

Before I even start, yes Beyonce is hot and yes Alicia Keys is talented but can somebody explain to me why I have to see them performing at every effing awards show for the last like 6 years? Honestly?!!! Like there aren't any other compelling performers out there other than these two? The only way I want to ever see either of these ladies performing in any capacity is if they both decide, for the sake of the art form of course, to act out their own version of the Aristocrats.
I get it Grammy's. You were blatantly racist for a long long time and you feel the need to show the world that you social views are much more contemporary now but for the love of Miley Cyrus can we not mix it up a little? You missed the boat to book the greatest performer this world has ever known in Old Dirty Bastard (RIP young brother), but something tells me either you are lazy, clueless, or still pretty much racist. Don't think I didn't see right thru that gossamer attempt you made by awarding Herbie Hancock the Grammy for album of the year. Cmon guys. Really? Herbie Hancock? Tabloid bullshit aside that Amy Winehouse album has hands down album of the year. Kudos to at least getting producer credit of the year right by giving it to Mark Ronson. So yeah, next year, unless Alicia and Beyonce are adding hard core interspecies erotica to their act, keep them bitches in their seats please.

Catch up.

2008-01-23T21:30:00.000-05:00

Between work, holidays, and keeping up with the latest fashions, I find that blogging is soooo 2007. That's a joke. Laugh, if possible.
I'm currently posting about 8 things that I never got around to put up since before Krit-ma. So, bear with me. It's a myriad of things, from a military funeral, work stuff, family things and the death of a close friend. It varies in content, mood, and length. I just haven't posted it. So here we go.

re: 2008 Death Pool

2008-01-23T21:27:00.000-05:00

Damn, I never would have though Ledger would have made the pool. That's a shame. Why do they always have to be the talented actors? What the hell?

2008 Death Pool

2008-01-06T19:38:00.000-05:00

Insensitive? Assuredly. Inappropriate? Unabashedly. But damn't, if everything in this country is fucked then it's up to us to choose our own flavor of fucked. And with that being said, Douglas....who you, and everybody else for that matter, got for this years Celebrity death pool?

I'm taking....
Britney...(I know, its a gimme)
Rush Limbaugh (wishfull thinking?)
and for my boomerang.....some pregnant white lady with a dooshbag for a husband that likes to go boating.

Travelin Man

2007-12-19T21:12:00.000-05:00

Going to DC for a couple of days. Funeral at Arlington Cemetery at 9 sharp Friday. I've never seen a military funeral, so I'm sure to talk about it when I get back. Cheers.

Geek stuff that only my geek friends will care about. (Avoid this if you have a life)

2007-12-17T23:03:00.000-05:00

Geeky stuff surrounds the Christmas season. Games, gadgets, movies, you name it. One of the things I love the most are the movie trailers. I guess it's a nostalgic holdover from my childhood. But they fucking rule.

Let me explain myself. I love movies. Just do. I can recite lines of dialogue, name off the soundtrack artists, and know what director stole what scene from what other movie and so on. It's a hobby. Last night even, I refused to watch Dirty Dancing with Katie until she finished watching Reservoir Dogs with me(Double feature). So after we watched Harvey Keitel moan like a man having a gallstone, we watched Baby put into a corner, and taken out again. Be still my heart.

So anyway, got word of Christmas hijinks from Chris Nolan. He's the man who directed Memento, The Prestige, Insomnia, and ...Batman Begins. Batman Begins blew me away. THAT'S a how a superhero movie should be. Burton did well with it back in the day, Batman Returns was an awesome movie. But Nolan got it. He said, "Throw it all out, and let's do it my way." And what we got was something that was beyond belief. It was one hell of a ride from start to finish and focused on the internal struggle as well as the external. And he pulled it off. Just watch it, if you haven't. Batman Begins is the best superhero movie you'll probably ever see. Maybe that's too strong.
It's just a really good movie.

God, I really know how to digress.

Chris Nolan and Warner Bros have released a trailer for the next installment of the Batman saga. They've also released a trailer for IMAX theaters only. The Imax footage is the first six minutes of the next movie, titled "The Dark Knight." The only footage I can find of it is on YouTube, but damn, it's got me ready to watch this. I'm posting it, if it's still available. Never thought I'd say this, but Heath Ledger might be the fucking man.
This is bad quality, but catch it before it gets yanked.

Work, people, and the status quo.

2007-12-17T22:31:00.000-05:00

Well.
Larry David moment at work today. I was smoking on a break and speaking to one of my coworkers. Let's call him Andy. Andy's gay. Leave it at that. Talking about the job, money, etc. I mention that I didn't feel so bad about my life since I had the opportunity to hear about some of my other coworker's problems.

Andy: Yeah, no shit. You know that there's like three people here on Methadone?
Me: Among other things...
Andy: Like, how many girls here have babies? Like ten? Twelve?
(Andy says "like" a lot.)
Me: And not one over the age of 22.
Andy: Yeah! Babies, drugs, man problems, money problems!

So I mention Susie(not her real name), another girl that works with us. Susie's man works elsewhere and has jealously problems. Every time this dude shows up, and sees Susie talking to one of the guys here, he puffs up his chest and pulls her aside and and a fight breaks out between the two. Every damn time. Andy, who may I remind you again is gay, knew about this also.

Andy: Yeah, that dude's a real douchebag.
Me: Yeah, what a fucking cocksucker.

Andy: ....
Me: ...wait, cocksucker in a derogatory sense...wait, I meant...shit.

So now I think I have to avoid Andy for a few days, I think.

Farm animals

2007-12-11T08:10:00.000-05:00

Went to the farm this morning to set up shop and look for coyotes. There's a pack in Tobaccoville. My Uncle Bobby who has his farm down next to ours, had two calves killed last year. And now the coyotes(or Ky-yotes, depending on your vernacular or upbringing) have set up shop at our farm. All looking for these:

Cute, right? So here I am, sitting beside a tree in the woods overlooking the cattle, and trying to distinguish between calves and coyotes. They're smart, quick and can probably smell me coming. And I'm no hunter. Not anymore, at least. Although, if you really think about it, most hunters around WS are not "real hunters." All hat and no cattle, if you excuse the pun.

Anyway, not much I can do. Sit and wait. Go in to work, do it again tomorrow.

Music time, or Movies, Maybe both. Whatever.

2007-12-09T17:18:00.000-05:00

Harry Nillson - Jump Into The Fire

I remember hearing this on Goodfellas. Heard it again recently while over at Swaim's and couldn't get the bass-line out of my head for two days. John cranked this up as loud as those old tube amps would go. "This bass-line makes the whole fuckin' song, man!" Hard to believe it's the "Lime in the Coconut" guy. As for the movie - Scorsese knows how to inject the right music into scenes, although The Departed was a little Stones heavy. This clip, besides being flat out awesome, starts with the Nillson track, incorporates others as well. There's even a snippet from The Who, in a kickass live version of "Magic Bus." The clip - Well, this seems to be an accurate portrayal of a day in the life of a coked out gangster. Hence the song. It sounds like a cocaine song.

Kritma Time

2007-12-09T16:59:00.000-05:00

Same every year, comings and goings. Presents, parties, family, friends. The undying cheer of the music that lifts you up body and soul. The constant urge to do well towards your fellow man, woman or child. Dealing with cheap bastards coming straight from church with their hateful little children. Getting a Jesus pamphlet as a tip from a 60 dollar 4-top(waiters - you feel me). Considering the quickest way to garrote a hostess after she sits three tables all at once for you. Wondering why in God's name did you not finish college. Then it slows down, and the last table you get leaves a 50% tip.
Ahh, the most wonderful time of year.

Had to let that out.

Here we go

2007-12-07T09:04:00.000-05:00

In order for this blog to be productive, cathartic, and yes - ENTERTAINING, I need to make some changes.
First off - I resolve to try to write on here as much as possible.

2nd - I will try to keep my friends personal lives out of this, unless they need the kick in the ass only my writing can give them.

C. - I'll mention politics - but only sparingly. Even though I think that Republicans have fucked things up immeasurably and are responsible for a myriad of crimes(real ones, not blowjobs), I'll keep my crazy opinions to myself. Exceptions being the previous sentence and when people need things explained to them (see 2nd.)

IV. - Local flavor should be the norm. Or if Grudge has something to post from L.A., so be it. I'll try to include links to various websites. Or things about food, beer, wine, music, movies, outdoor living etc.

5. My opinions are my own, and they change daily. You'll find that I am multi-tasked to the hilt. And so I'll talk about whatever suits me.

That's about it. I hope that I can keep this up, not bore too many, and hopefully, make some new friends.

That's it. I'm working a double today, so see ya'll tomorrow