Complications

Why in the fuck do things have to be so fucking complicated? God! I'm looking for a real job. Call it what you want - Career, desk job, whatever. I want something that I enjoy, make enough money to pay the mortgage, among other things, and just be successful at what I do. So I wait tables now. Not a bad job, not at all. The people I work with are cool, the money could be better, but that's any job you get, and I'm good at it. I don't want to be a waiter forever, though I still kick myself for not finishing college, even though most of my friends who graduated college have shit jobs anyway. I want an 8-5 job monday through friday. Is that so fucking hard to find? Apparently in Winston-Salem it is. The jobs available in this shithole are few and far between, short of a degree. And even then, there's not much to it.

Most of the things I'm a professional at are not relevant in this state. I can't move, or I won't. Promises to keep, and all that. Not a big deal. I like having my family and friends here, and I do know the area.
Anyway, I had a job at a local organization two years ago. I took over as an interim manager. It was my first real position where I could make a difference in a lot of lives and by Christ, I was good at it. I organized, repaired, secured volunteer help, and set up a business plan after business plan. I was going to make Winston-Salem remember that there was this jewel right in the middle of downtown, that had previously been ignored. So that's what I set about doing.
There was a catch. In order for me to hired on full time, I would have to move on campus. It wasn't feasible, considering family responsibilities and so forth. and I politely declined the offer to move on campus. I tried to convince them that I didn't have to live there. Whatever problem that would arise at night, I could be there to take care of it. Nothing Doing. "We want you to be on call 24-7."
And that was that. I helped out until they found someone that could do the job and live there at the same time. Eventually, they did find that person, who was willing to move their family and belongings to this place. And I left on good terms.

Fast forward two years -Late last week I get a call from my old boss. She said that the person they hired after me, was let go. They were desperate, and had a todo list a mile long. Would I consider going back and working for them again? So we met and spoke yesterday. It's the same runaround as last time. I must live on campus if I were to apply for the permanent position. No bending on that rule. Damn it.
So what the hell do I do? Do I go back and work - part time, until they do find someone? And then be out of a job there again? If I were cut back hours at my waiting job, there's no guarantee I'll get those hours back. But we're talking about a job that I took out of desperation, and a job that I love, that comes back and teases me every so often. And I am good. No denying that. I'm experienced, good with people, can speak to the public, and can actually accomplish things.
This is my life, for fucks sake. Let me find a fucking job I'm proud of having. Can't be that hard, but I'm pushing 30 and still not sure what I want to do. FUCK!!!!!